LA-LA

just 39 days

2009-11-17T19:11:00.003Z

in just 39 days it will be my birthday. last year i had a joint cocktails birthday party with my sister (our birthdays are just 5 days apart). except i was drinking mocktails, because i was on some ridiculous drugs from my doctor, for like 6 WHOLE MONTHS!!!! i wasn't allowed a drop of alcohol. everyone forgot this, so i had bottles of tia maria (my fave), baileys, etc. etc. bought especially for me for the holiday season, that i couldn't drink. i fully intend to make up for it this year. i digress...

my 24th year was the first time in my entire life that i made a list of birthday resolutions. i was pretty depressed (not ACTUALLY clinically depressed) from 21-22.5, accumulating in HORRIBLE blow-outs at christmas/birthday time. never, ever to be repeated. 1.5 years is a long time to live a mediocre life. i KNEW 24 would be better. now i have just 39 days to fulfill my resolutions (the ones which i have the power to):

+ Make packed lunches for work

I SWITCHED JOBS, AND MY MOM IS MY NEW BOSS, SO MOSTLY SHE MAKES MY PACKED LUNCHES. SCORE!
+ Find out if the boy I like loves me

THIS OLD DRAMA!!!!
+ Finish my long-overdue Breaking Free bible study (still on week 4 after 1.5 years...)

NO. EMBARRASSING. I STILL HAVE TIME TO DO THIS ONE. LET'S GO...
+ Get lots of stamps in my passport, incl. California

THIS YEAR: AUSTRIA, FRANCE, INDIA, BUT NO CALIFORNIA. NEXT YEAR ROLL-OVER.
+ La La La and play guitar

I NOW OWN THE MOST AWESOME MIC ON THE PLANET. £ WELL SPENT! AND I KNOW 6 GUITAR CHORDS REALLY WELL. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!
+ Forgive imperfections quickly

I DID SO WELL. UNTIL THIS MONTH...I HAVE JUST BEEN SO OVER EVERYONE.
+ Furnish my sweet home

YESSS. I LOVE MY SWEET HOME. CAN'T WAIT TO PUT MY CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS UP AND BUY ONE OF THOSE CUTE FERRIS WHEELS THAT SINGS SILENT NIGHT (FROM DOBBIES GARDEN CENTRE).
+ Arrive at work by 9am (I am being realistic; work starts at 8.30am)

FAIL. BUT MY NEW JOB STARTS AT 9AM, AND I AM USUALLY THERE BY 9.05AM. SO MAYBE THIS CONSTITUTES A PASS.
+ Go back to being happy-go-lucky

I'M TRYING NOT TO ASSOCIATE SOCIALLY WITH ANYONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY.

+ Love Jesus more completely

BILL JOHNSON (HERO) SHARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR ON WORSHIP...AND HOW WHILE ON EARTH, WE CAN CHOOSE TO OFFER GOD WORSHIP WHEN THINGS AREN'T PERFECT, BUT INSTEAD ARE BROKEN, EMPTY, DISAPPOINTING, SAD, FRUSTRATING, AND THIS IS PRECIOUS. BECAUSE IN HEAVEN WE CAN NEVER GIVE GOD WORSHIP FROM THIS DEPTH OF EMOTION. SO BEAUTIFUL.
+ Rock out at gigs at the Wolves Civic

NO. BECAUSE I WORK PRETTY MUCH EVERY WEEKEND. AND I BOUGHT A HOUSE. DANG.
+ Say NO to gossip

I HAVE WORKED HARD ON THIS ONE ALL YEAR. YESSS. 8 PTS!
+ Spend my hard-earned cash on my two passions in life: fashion and music (no wasteful junk)

OF COURSE. CAN'T BELIEVE I PUT THIS AS A "BIRTHDAY RESOLUTION". BUT JUST REALISED THAT I HAVE BEEN BUYING CLOTHES SINCE I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, AND HAVE THROWN LITERALLY NOTHING OUT. MUST FIX THIS!
+ Stop caring about how others perceive me

THINK I MISUNDERSTOOD THIS ONE. DISTINCTLY REMEMBER A CONVO FROM LAST WEEK WHERE I 'CORRECTED' SOMEONE'S PERCEPTION OF ME. NOT A PRETTY MOMENT. BUT BRAVE?!
+ Cultivate PERFECTLY flawless skin

A\';SPO 2@£%(*P$£%POP@

+ Learn to play Hometown Glory (Adele) on the piano

I HAVE NO PIANO AT MY HOUSE TO LEARN. WILL GO TO MY MAMA'S!
+ Fall in love and get married

DEFINITELY NOT ACCOMPLISHED THIS ONE. BUT NEXT YEAR LOOKS GOOD...
+ Write a song

I HAVE WRITTEN ALOT OF POETRY. I HEART WORDS.
+ Be on time for church (maybe even EARLY for pre-church prayer, yikes, is this possible?)

BY DEFAULT I AM ALWAYS ON TIME, IT IS MY JOB!
+ Hang out with the girls in my apartment block

THEY ARE THE ABSOLUTE COOLEST. AND NOW WE HAVE BOYS TOO.
+ Bite my tongue to prevent saying unnecessary hurtful words to the people I love

GETTING BETTERRR! EXCEPT WHEN THE PEOPLE I LOVE BUY DESIGNER FAKES. THEN I CAN'T STOP MYSELF! CHILD EXPLOITATION SENDS ME CRAZY!
+ BLOG and publish baby!

I AM A TERRIBLE BLOGGER. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO WRITE ABOUT. IT IS SO SELF-INDULGING AND PRETENTIOUS. BUT ISN'T THAT HUMAN-KIND? I SECRETLY LOVE IT!

"what if starbucks marketed like a church"

2009-11-02T18:46:00.000Z

sweet cheeks

2009-11-02T14:01:00.003Z

online window shopping is my FAVE! isn't this little necklace the absoloute cutest. i may make a special trip into the city tomorrow, just so that this can sit sweetly around my neck. so precious.

pj day

2009-11-02T13:28:00.008Z

my original plan for today:

shop

re- arrange my wardrobe

clean the house

my new plan for today:

sleep

watch daytime tv

call friends

read blogs

eat bacon and eggs

red herring:

the postman asked me to take a parcel for number 35. now i feel obliged to get dressed so that i don't look like a lazy-bones when mr number 35 comes to grab it after work. maybe i will pretend that i am sick. maybe i will explain to mr number 35 that after returning from a 2 week business trip to india, i proceeded to work an 80 hour week. maybe mr number 35 will feel very sorry for me and offer to cook dinner (he is a chef).

ecstasy and despair forever

2009-09-24T22:32:00.008+01:00

we must break and bruise in this cycle of ecstasy and despair forever.

*ok, i was depressing myself with this post. it's gone*

please everybody; come check this guy out (i promise you won't regret it)

2009-09-06T19:10:00.003+01:00

http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/

p.s will somebody teach me how to embed my links? i will love you forever...

confession time...

2009-09-06T17:39:00.005+01:00

...i watched ALOT of BB10. i'm sure i am way too intelligent to watch such reality-TV trash. but the love-triangles, walk-outs, blazing-rows, and rule-breaks are addictive. found this comment on the official website (i am a geek) which sums up the series perfectly:

"the show is crazy. if it translated to a game of football we'd have players refusing to kick the ball, wlking off the pitch because they missed their loved ones or were bored, players breaking the rules and the referee just dong nothing, the goalkeeper refusing to save the goals because they liked the other team too much, players escaping from the pitch, deliberately breaking the rules in the hope they'll be sent off, players saying they dont want the prize money, or want to share it, or accusing others of being in the game only for the money. and worse of all, the 2 million spectators walking off in their droves in disgust."

i wish i was one of the "2 million spectators walking off...in disgust" but as i said: ADDICTIVE.

BAT FOR LASHES + POLAROIDS = LOVE

2009-09-04T16:14:00.003+01:00

travel polaroids from US tours that were given to national geographic for a little gallery.

"nice arnie"

2009-09-04T14:58:00.004+01:00

i have the most sweet-hearted, free-spirited, BEAUTIFUL little niece in the whole world (who is also a little bit of a bossy boots but in the cutest way imaginable)! i dropped by my sister's house two days ago (which i can do A LOT more now that i don't work a gazillion miles away from where i live) and she touched my clothes and hair and face saying "nice arnie, nice arnie". my heart EXPLODES with love for this baby...who just had her 2nd birthday (15.08.09): HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

helpgivethemavoice.com

2009-09-02T22:04:00.004+01:00

dying to blog about my summer adventures...drum roll please...with photos (ok, maybe - if i can overcome my fear of someone OTHER than my darling sister reading this). until then i leave this sweet delight - a youtube vid about the work that social workers do. wow, turns out some of the celebs involved in the helpgivethemavoice.com campaign ACTUALLY experienced flickers of love and hope from their social workers.

yesss, we WON the ashes. i love you ENGLAND, land of hope and glory.

2009-08-23T19:37:00.006+01:00

"everything changes (but you"...courtesy of take that)

2009-08-09T22:20:00.009+01:00

tomorrow i start my new job as a personal assistant - my heart is a mix of emotions - but mostly i am ridiculously excited about this new opportunity, for the following reasons (in number-point form, because it's just the way i roll):

1. i get to work with my fam and friends

2. i get to organise and plan OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES and events (makes me feel giddy, i LOVE doing this)

3. i get 1 free cup of coffee per day

4. i get to work in my hometown

5. i get my own office...with my own desk and my own chair AND my own door

thank you JESUS for giving ME an awesome job!

mатрёшка dolls to sweeten my soul

2009-07-26T18:26:00.007+01:00

rotten apple under the tree

2009-07-26T18:20:00.005+01:00

i got a little bit sick from the endless sickeningly-sweet f/b status updates. apparently for a lot of my f/b friends life is pretty perfect. or fake. GIVE ME A GREAT BIG BREAK. my life isn't perfect and the envy that i feel when i read their status updates is u-g-l-y. i had a purge, or two, or three - deleting my sugar-coated f/b friends, but i couldn't really delete anymore without it becoming...awkward. i have already been questioned by ex f/b friend's as to why they have been dropped - i make up dumb little excuses like "my account is broken" (whatevs). then - brain-wave - i decided to take a little break from f/b to fix my real-life. my real-life where sometimes i feel bitter and angry and jealous. my real-life which doesn't always feel so peachy. i don't want to be the rotten apple under the tree. i need to put myself back together again. humpty-dumpty.

checking, checking...everyday checking

2009-07-15T16:24:00.011+01:00

oh the ecstasy of opening up my three little parcels...for the last week i have been checking, checking...everyday checking the mailbox at my parent's house.

'influence' is the most beautiful book and it is quenching my thirst (a little) for fashion - the interviews, the pictures - i was an hour late for work because i couldn't stop reading about christian louboutin and his red-soled heels (i have a rip-off version = HOT).

at bed-time i read 'love letters of great men' (i heart carrie bradshaw): "I look back and in every one point, every word and gesture, every letter, every silence - you have been entirely perfect to me - I would not change one word, one look. My hope and aim are to preserve this love, not to fall from it - for which I trust to God, who procured it for me, and doubtless can preserve it...You have given me the highest, completest proof of love that ever one human being gave another. I am all gratitude - and all pride . . . that my life has been so crowned by you." thank you robert browning, i think i will have someone read this at my wedding.

and lastly, e-bay sent me the black gladiators that i ordered - because i almost stole my BFF's from off her feet! i have been looking for the perfect pair for all the months of summer. pics are for another day...

happy birthday daddy!

2009-07-14T16:53:00.009+01:00

so, i finished work early to surprise him with his pressie, BUT jokes on me - he is NOT home. boo-hoo. now i am sat in his house...all alone...no one to make me a cup of tea...no reception to call him...and i hate that he's getting older.

sunday-church dress-up

2009-07-12T19:13:00.007+01:00

i love getting dressed-up for sunday-church...it's cute, and healthy - especially as i'm not a party-girl, and i don't have a boy to hot-up for. pretty embarrassing to get heckled as you walk out of church though...the boys in my town just don't have any manners (my sister's response was SO awesome). i have an interview for a job at the church on friday, yesss. don't wanna jump the gun, but if i get the job i will be able to wear cute outfits, EVERYDAY. my current working wardrobe is sick - mostly because mon-fri i come home smelling of smokes, pit bull dog and chip fat...social work is just so rock n roll!

"now you love getting corporate sponsorship for stuff, and you named your child 'apple', obviously after the computer firm..."

2009-07-11T19:35:00.005+01:00

i wish...

2009-07-10T09:40:00.000+01:00

...i could stay at home and read blogs all day long. but i must go to work to feed my bank balance. YSL make-up has almost bankrupt me.

city of music

2009-07-09T20:54:00.000+01:00

vienna...my rainy love! i went for a holiday, and to help out with a conference that my dad was speaking at - conference = best EVER. everyone was so musical - multi-musical - and the architecture in the city was amazing. but i have no photos, because of the rain :( i was a little bit sick with, i think, exhaustion (like the celebs) due to the crazy. hours. i. work. so i napped in the afternoons, and read harper's bazaar with cups of tea, and played with my adorable niece, and talked and TALKED to my adorable sister, and bought coffee and clothes with euros, AND was internet-free. sweet liberty. in the evenings we had gourmet dinner parties, dined at restaurants, went to flight school (for real), and got high...on life. on the flight home i got to hang in the senator lounge - the luxury of flying with my dad, who is literally MADE of air-miles. no girls in those lounges. but TONS of free food and drink. my louis vuitton (which i now regret purchasing because i could have saved, like, a billion children with the £'s i spent on that thing) got to make it's first plane trip! special.

hair-envy

2009-06-17T20:32:00.001+01:00

the reason why i haven't cut my hair in like...7 mths!!!! snap-happy-hairdressers fill me with terror. i am going to the salon tomorrow and i pray that they will make my locks look like any of these hotties.

photo 1 from http://4thandbleekeragency.blogspot.com/

anorexia

2009-06-13T09:57:00.000+01:00

i NEED to loose approx. 10lbs, then i'll be happy forevermore. i met a 7st chick yesterday, with work, of course. i want to be her. even though all she puts in her mouth is diet coke. even though she is on the edge of reason. anorexia, dang you for looking so beautiful.

"let the cicadas rock you"

2009-06-07T23:06:00.000+01:00

“Welcome on the site of le mas de ma mère. Between sea and mountains, close to a wood where a river runs, the sun makes sing the cicadas. Le mas de ma mère proposes to you three lodgings with the personalities different but in the middle of the same environment from exception. This family Farmhouse east impresses serenity of these generations which lived in the middle of this so generous nature. Today, it opens its doors to you accomodates for privileged moments… Between the Cevennes and the Mediterranean, in a park of 3000 m², in edge of a charming village, in the middle of a beautiful campaign, you will be charmed by calms of this place. Its services of quality and its exceptional framework: the ideal for your holidays. Days of idleness at the edge of the swimming pool, in the middle of a turfed and flowered ECRIN, await you. The sun baths and living room of garden will accomodate your moments of rest in the shade of the pines. You will let the cicadas rock you… The village is near to make your races which will not be a drudgery but beautiful strolls while passing by the hill of the olive-trees; you will not forget the market of Wednesday morning! Originating in the area, I will have much pleasure to indicate the sites to you to be visited; you will have the embarrassment of the choice! Possibility of hiring of VTT."

the description of our summer-holiday french villa. REALLY looking forward to letting the cicadas rock me...

obsessions

2009-06-03T23:17:00.000+01:00

what are your current obsessions? god, clothes, music, blogs. what is your weirdest obsession? riverdance. what are you wearing today? knickers & white vest top. what’s for dinner today? chicken korma, pilau rice, peshwari naan. why is today special? because i had time to grab a take-out caramel latte from ‘village coffee’ (fave) at lunchtime. what would you like to learn to do? play more than D, C & G on the guitar. what’s the last thing you bought? harper’s BAZAAR. what are you listening to right now? ‘love & war’ daniel merriweather. what is your most challenging goal right now? find out if the boy i like loves me. if you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished, anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? manly, AUS. what would you like in your hand right now? tix to LA. what would you like to get rid of? the ridiculous amount of paperwork that is sat on my desk at work. if you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would that be? beach. which language do you want to learn? russian. what do you look for in a friend? chatter-box. who do you want to meet in person? brandon flowers. what’s your favourite type of music? rock, electro, indie. what’s your favourite piece of clothing in your wardrobe? patent black shoes inherited from my grandma. what is your dream job? riverdancer. any favourite models? twiggy, kate moss. what would you most likely spend $100 on? clothes. what would you like an endless supply of? magazines. girl crush? sophie (my deceased kitty-cat). do you admire anyone’s style? natasha khan. describe your personal style. ethereal.

CUT CUT CUT CUT

2009-06-03T23:15:00.000+01:00

BNTM. TV. oh the treatsss of staying at my country residence.

2009-05-26T21:28:00.000+01:00

oh my gosh. my sister would think that this dress is a slice of heaven.

2009-05-25T23:39:00.000+01:00

i heart frankie

2009-05-24T23:36:00.000+01:00

should i pay $125.50 (AUS) for a frankie subscription? i could win a FREE kikki.K writing set…

prof. plum

2009-05-18T22:36:00.000+01:00

i have to break some KILLER news tomorrow. i might have to play real-life cluedo afterwards = prof. plum, in the kitchen, with the revolver. except it’s unlikely that it will actually be PROF. PLUM (in the kitchen, with the revolver). it will be one of my beloved service users. ‘guns don’t kill people, rappers do’……OKAY.

piece of awesome-ness

2009-05-13T22:26:00.000+01:00

i bought this piece of awesome-ness last night. plus a fakey-fake chanel-quilted-chain-zip-bag (cause ALL the cool kids have them, and my only other black bag smells like fish after a sushi accident). not usually keen on chains but they work. AND i spent £120 on skincare…but it was actually stuff i need. thank you god for giving me a nice counter lady who didn’t make me spend millions on products i DON’T need.

photo from http://topshop.com

NOT cool.

2009-05-11T03:39:00.000+01:00

photo from http://failblog.org/

this is how i want love to be

2009-05-10T22:23:00.000+01:00

vanity

2009-05-09T22:25:00.000+01:00

can i wear these to tonight’s fancy dress b-day party (the theme is superheros)?! every party is a photo opp and i don’t want to have to de-tag forevermore because of some sick outfit i chose to wear. this way i get to wear whatevs i like over the top! vanity.

daniel merriweather

2009-05-09T20:45:00.000+01:00

i love EVERYTHING about daniel merriweather...espesh his BFF mark ronson! ok, maybe i just luuurve him cause he reminds me of a HOT boy i went on a date with in the early noughties...it's not gonna work out.